Nuptial Nest Lesson 3 – You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Welcome to the Nuptial Nest, aka my blog. I’ve decided to go through all the weddings I’ve ever worked and discuss a lesson I’ve learned from each of those weddings – be it a life lesson, a lesson about how to be a better wedding planner, or a lesson to future clients. No topic is off limits – let’s get into the dirty details of weddings! *no brides were harmed in the creation of this blog*

Nuptial Nest Lesson 3 – You Can’t Always Get What You Want

There is a seriously bad connotation when it comes to being a bride. We’ve all heard the term “bridezilla” on more than one occasion, and have maybe even used this term, or the term “groomzilla,” to describe overly demanding brides & grooms. To be completely honest, this absolutely breaks my little bridal heart.

I was working this one wedding on an unusually warm autumn day in upstate New York. We were really in the middle of nowhere, there wasn’t much around except maybe some farms and animals roaming. The bridal party decided to have their hair and makeup done at the only salon in the area instead of getting a hair stylist/makeup artist to go to them. Sounds promising, right?

The bride and the makeup artist did a trial run a few weeks prior, which I was not present at. Apparently, at the trial, the bride opted for a super natural, minimalistic makeup look. This looks stunning in person, but truth be told, bridal makeup is so heavy because it’s supposed to be seen from far away, and pop up on camera. The camera always dulls features that aren’t accentuated by a bit too much blush, highlighter, contour, and boatloads of mascara and eyeliner. As scary as that sounds, it looks amazing on the other side of the camera lens.

When the bride was finished getting her makeup done, she looks at me with panic in her eyes. She pulls me aside to have a quick chat, and says “I wanted natural, but this isn’t enough, is it?!?” I look at her and say, “ you look absolutely stunning, but we can definitely ask for more!” I pull her to the makeup artist and ask her “the makeup looks a bit light, could we add more definition around the eyes and cheeks to make sure it pops up in photos?” The artist reminds us that the client “wanted a more natural look, and adding anything would look unnatural.” She adds a bit more blush and couple extra swipes of mascara, and the bride seemed happy with it.

I should have listened to my gut and asked her to add more, or even done extra makeup on her myself. Throughout the entire day, I could tell she was fidgeting with her mascara and asked me multiple times throughout the day if she looked okay. Since it was so warm on this evening, she felt the makeup begin to sweat off, not lasting as long as it should have. She didn’t want to seem too demanding and take away from the artists’ expertise, but in her heart she wanted more.

Lesson Learned: To clients – DO NOT fear the ‘zilla in you!! This is honestly YOUR day, you’ve spent countless hours, loads of cash, immense emotions, on this one amazing day. You absolutely can and should get anything and everything you ask for. You are NOT a ‘zilla. To myself – DO NOT be afraid to speak your mind to vendors to get your clients what they want, even if they don’t know that they want it or are being meek.

After this wedding, I’ve worked my absolute hardest to get clients what they want, even if I have to push back against some vendors (more stories on vendor battles later).

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